Anecdote Overload

for Sherry, who says I should post these before I throw away all the grocery lists and scraps of paper on which they're written.

At the library:
"Maybe I will work here when I grow up. There are lots of things I want to do. But I don't want to be an astronaut anymore." Here you must lean in to hear the whisper..."Because of SPACE TRASH!"

One sister to another:
"We're pirates in a submarine looking for treasure. One of my crews died so I needed a new crew. You be my new crew. Try not to die."

Second sister's response:
"Don't suck your fingers, captain."

Why I homeschool:
With paroxysms of excitement..."Now I'm going to tell you the part that I'm all jittery about in my math"

Random quote of the year award:
"I'm having a wedding because the queen died. But Brownie, my dog, still has her memory...because I told her to. Brownie's a girl. She's sitting in my sewing box, which is open." (okaaaay)

Interchange while writing letters together:
Announced with confidence..."I'm like a printer!"
Encouraging response..."Yes, like a printer, only slower."
Confidence not diminished in the least..."Yes, like a printer only slow and...and kind of broken."

Overheard from a small waffle eater: "I'm beautiful...but sticky!"

Extra points if you can guess who's who.